If you’re the kind of person who values the virtues of kindness, patience and selflessness, you probably don’t always live up to the goals you set for yourself. Human hearts don’t naturally embody these qualities. Unkindness, impatience and selfishness are my own natural tendencies, and I need to work at keeping these vices down while lifting timeless personal virtues up. But how? I find something I call the “one year to live” mindset helps.
One of the biggest distorted perspectives in our lives has to do with time. I don’t know about you, but my tendency is to focus improperly on time in two ways. First, when I’m involved in some task (as I am most days), my universe becomes that particular challenge. Right now, I’m struggling to repair a troublesome issue on one of our vehicles. I’m working in my driveway, lying on the dirty, cold ground. It’s Canada, and even a nice day here in November is cold enough to be a problem. Except for the break I’ve taken to write this, my world now involves very short-term concerns. How can I get that rusty old bolt cut? How will I find the precise location for a hole I need to drill in that piece of 2″ x 2″ angle iron I want to bolt on to strengthen the rusted frame? When will I find time to do the dozens of other things I need to accomplish in the next few days?
Thoughts about challenges like these, plus a little down time at the end of the day, makes for a life of pretty short-term thinking. Working to improve my patience, kindness and selflessness tends to be overshadowed by the challenges of the moment. This is what I call short-term distraction, and I suspect a lot of people live in this zone. The need to earn a living and raise a family takes up almost all my efforts and focus in short-term ways.
At the other end of the time spectrum is the idea that I’ll die someday. We all recognize this about ourselves on some level. And though I want to do all I can to live my life well and to become a better version of myself, I’ve got lots of time, right? Not necessarily. The idea of having lots of time is dangerous because you never know it’s true. Someday it won’t be true, but even if it were to remain true forever, there’s still a problem. The idea that you’ve “got lots of time” means that you can always postpone your pursuit of virtue for another day. You can do the easy thing now and let yourself be impatient in the moment. You can ignore the harder road of selflessness and choose selfishness because you’ve got lots of time to get selfless later. You can afford to let your bad mood show through rather than expending the effort to be cheerful. In the end, after years of “postponement thinking”, all you’ve done is fail to become a better person. Your time is gone forever. In fact, staying the same as you are now isn’t even the biggest danger. Over the years I’ve noticed that very few people stay the same as they age. They either get better or they get worse. I find few things sadder than a truly nasty old curmudgeon who hates everyone, hates life, is preoccupied with their own needs and wants, and never has anything positive to say. It’s surprisingly common, and I believe it’s the end result of a life lived with no intentional efforts towards virtue. As much as I’d like to believe that people are basically good, reality keeps showing me that our hearts are sloped in a different direction.
All this said, the idea of having one year left to live has quite a different effect if you happen to believe that human life has no ultimate meaning and no eternal significance. If you believe life is nothing more than a random accident of molecules and energy, and human life in particular is nothing more than the most advanced result of an unguided process towards greater biological complexity, then it’s party time. There is no higher virtue except your own preferences, and this probably won’t involve an intentional pursuit of virtue. Why would it? Experience, science and history has convinced me that we’re much more than just molecules, but that’s a topic for another article.
For me (and I hope for you) the “one year to live” mindset provides the motivation to choose the harder road of virtue because it places the end of my life in sight. One year is enough time to make meaningful progress, yet it’s not so long that I can afford to postpone.
It’s entirely possible that this whole business about personal virtue might be meaningless for you. That’s okay. I’m not here to force anything. Just like love, a hunger for virtue can never be forced. I’m just sharing a mindset that helps me achieve what I think is important. And the one thing about living life as if you had only one year to live is that someday it will be true for you.
One day your walk will end, and your chance to pursue virtue will end with it. I don’t know about you, but when that time comes for me, I think I’ll wish I could have a few more annoying people or challenging situations to deal with again, just so I’d have something to hone my virtue on. Might as well do it while I can.